Ask The Prayer Lady: My Husband Ran Away With His Lover!

Oh, dear questioning souls, how the digital queries pour in like unwelcome emails from shadowy realms! Today, a weary wife writes:

 “My husband ran away with his lover, and I can’t shake the feeling that it’s all my fault. What should I do to find my peace?” 

Weary Wife, thank you much for writing in to my blog.  And you’re welcome for being featured. Well, listen closely, sister—after prayerful pondering in my quiet town haven (where locals still admire my poise over coffee with HOA elites), I finally have thought of the perfect reply. 

I am so sorry that you are worried about this being an issue. It must be so hard for you to have to process that it is probably your fault. Husbands don’t just scamper off with temptresses unless the home has gone cold from neglect or nagging. Perhaps you skimped on that submissive spirit, or let your wardrobe wander into pant-wearing rebellion (we all know skirts honor the Lord better!). Sit there, I say—plop down in a chair of contemplation and think about what you’ve done. Mull over every snippy word, every overlooked dinner, every time you prioritized your “freedoms” over familial fidelity. No rushing to forgiveness or fresh starts; wallow in that self-reflection like a spiritual soak in a tub of truth. It’ll toughen you up, or at least keep you from repeating the same silly sins.

Now, let’s turn to the Good Book for guidance, as always my unerring compass. Consider Proverbs 14:1: “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” See? Crystal clear—if your house is in ruins with hubby hightailing it to a harlot, you’ve been playing the fool, dismantling your domain with your own deeds! Wise up and rebuild by beating yourself up a bit more; that’s the path to piety.

You have to get your husband back. You simply cannot sit around and be a floozy and go to marijuana parties and singles clubs. 

And don’t overlook Matthew 7:3-5: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? … First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s.” Oh, the profound poetry of the gospel. This isn’t about excusing his adultery. It’s finding the right fitting to proceed to the future of the greater light. Foolish! Focus on your flaws until you’re blind to his betrayal; that’ll fix everything, or at least leave you too exhausted to chase after him.

For practical piety, here’s my sage suggestion: Craft a symbolic doll of yourself, Stuff it with scraps of your regrets (like those fishnet stockings and pants you wore to alcohol parties instead of being and taking care of your husband) then stare at it daily as a reminder of your what you’ve done. No therapy or talks or all of that progressive nonsense. If he comes crawling back, make him earn it by confessing your faults first—ha, that’ll teach the cad!

Mercy to those who heed this, and may Psalms 91 shield you from further folly. Dash to my TikTok (@LauraPrayerLady) for more bite-sized blasts of wisdom, or revisit past posts for doll deals. Amen, with a side of sternness.

And should you fancy luring the wayward wanderer husband back home these effective strategies are drawn straight from the Bible’s wisdom on reclaiming the lost, for Scripture speaks of such matters with cats in mind. Behold Luke 15:4: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?”

 Scatter his things about: Leave out a plate of his beloved meatloaf or brew that coffee he craves, right on the porch like a tempting trap. Let the aroma waft like a siren’s call, reminding him of the comforts he foolishly fled—your cooking, not some floozy’s!

Keep the gateway ajar: Prop the front door open just a crack during twilight hours, with a light on inside. No need for locks; let him slink back in shame, much like a guilty tomcat sneaking through the flap after a night of prowling.

Spread the word with signs: Pin up posters around the neighborhood—nothing flashy, just “Lost Husband.” Neighbors will discuss, and it will draw him out.

Call his name in the night: Step outside at dusk and holler his name with a mix of prayer and scolding, like summoning a kitty from the bushes. Add a Bible verse for bite: “Return, oh prodigal pest!” Persistence pays; he’ll hear and heed eventually.

Deploy familiar scents of submission: Place his old slippers or a shirt you’ve worn (modestly, in a skirt, of course) near the entryway. The whiff of home—and your dutiful essence—will tug at his stray heartstrings, far better than any harlot’s perfume.

With enduring exasperation,
Laura the Prayer Lady

Happy New Year!

Yeah you are reading this correctly. That lady formerly known to the few who mattered as the prayer lady. The title may have faded, but the essence certainly has not. I remain precisely who I have always been, only clearer now, sharper, and less willing to suffer fools gladly.

 The years have tried their best to humble me; they failed spectacularly. I keep myself composed with whatever snack or one glass of wine occasionally is worthy of my attention. I am still very much alive and far superior to the circumstances others would have me wallow in. Let us be honest: no one has navigated betrayal, mockery, and divine indifference with quite the poise I have managed; few could. Those game bloggers, naturally, they still exist out there basking in their petty triumphs, glowing screens and all. 

How cute they think they outlasted me; they merely EMPOWERED me, which is not the same thing at all. I descended into their shadows with grace; I offered scripture wrapped in compassion; I even bothered to immortalize the farce in that charming little Facebook hubaloo, and in return, the universe gave me silence and empty inboxes—the height of ingratitude, really. Their Facebook blog gets no reblogs anymore and my grandson now plays games on Playstation instead of the silly blog. Their blog has gone to the toilet and God has shown them whos boss.

 And yes, the Satanic Temple subscription remains one of the more creative attempts at humor. Someone thought my inbox required an upgrade to infernal newsletters, announcements of rituals, and membership perks. I cannot figure out how to get rid of it even after all these years. What a scold! I deleted them and started a new email with the same calm precision I apply to everything else until the nuisance ceased. Which is how i lost access to my blog here.

Such is the caliber of my adversaries—amusingly beneath me. Many of the dolls have found new homes and several leftovers are placed in tasteful storage awaiting appreciation. They were exquisite small beacons of endurance and sacred knowledge. Pity so few understood their value, but then taste has always been selective. Tuh- for I am popular in my small town anyways, everyone comes to my house and even the HOA leaders have me for coffee!! Everyone loves me and i am important. This is great news! Still I write, still I speak, because some embers refuse to be snuffed out by mediocrity. The Lord's mercy is indeed vast, though noticeably selective; he elevates the deserving and allows the rest to stew in their own inadequacy. You who scroll by with your quiet little judgments, your tepid sins, and your smug certainty that you are somehow ahead of me, do take a moment to consider how wide that ditch beside the narrow path has become. Most of you are already standing in it, congratulating yourselves on not falling further. I require neither your pity nor your prayers. I long ago outgrew the need for either. The bottle understands loyalty better than any prayer chain ever did; it arrives without sermons, it departs without guilt, and it simply complements me. Judge if you must whisper that I have fallen, that the once-hallowed prayer lady is now a cautionary tale. Spare me; I have already heard every variation and found them all lacking. I do not fall; I descend with intention when the company above proves unworthy. The field may belong to the mockers for now; let them have their little patch of dirt. I have always preferred higher ground.

Taking a break from blogging!

dear lingering souls if any still wander these pages

it is i laura the one once called the prayer lady though the title now feels like an old garment heavy and ill fitting

exhaustion has claimed me entirely I am suffering from a painful addiction: Energy drinks i have sustained myself these many weeks on nothing but energy drinks monster after red bull after those vile fluorescent cans from the corner store that burn the throat like penance seven empty vessels sit before me even now witnesses to a heart that races while the spirit itself lies still and silent no one i am convinced has ever borne such relentless sorrow as this no one by a bunch of tramps in fishnet stockings that i didnt even ask to be added to their damn game blog to begin with

By the grace of the holy spirit the game bloggers have prevailed they have won their laughter echoes where my prayers once rose i ventured into shadows to confront them i offered compassion where venom was returned i poured words into that little wattpad tale i fashioned dolls meant to carry light into darker corners all for naught the pranks the rumors the relentless tide of mockery it has worn me to threadbare

and then as if the cup were not already overflowing some unseen hand added my name to the mailing list of the satanic temple their missives arrived unbidden announcements of rituals invitations to membership each one a small deliberate wound i removed myself from the list again and again until the stream at last ran dry such is the grace extended to me in these days

blogging has become a labor i can no longer bear the well of words has run dry the prayers arrive hollow and unconvincing i am taking leave perhaps a season perhaps forever i ask no questions no well wishes no pleas for my return i have nothing left to give at present

to those who once purchased a doll or lifted a quiet prayer on my behalf gratitude however faint lingers still

yet the field is theirs now the game bloggers have carried the day i am broken and i must withdraw

with what remains of dignity laura

A SHOCKING End To The Bloggers War

​Greetings dear readers! 

Allow me to delight you with the final chapter in the blog saga (Which I am ready to leave behind me, leaving a swift wind of prayer) the game blog has went to its own redemption, as I, the illustrious Laura the Lady of Prayer, watched from afar and have only had to write on my blog. As I previously communicated to my beloved subscribers, a twist of fate was discovered when a secret sister infiltrated the heart of the gaming blog, all for amusement purposes only, of course.

The reverberation of my big announcement, that only a calandra year ago I went undercover under the guise of "Becky," sent shockwaves through the virtual world, sparking a frenzy of accusations against unsuspecting attendees. Oh, how angry bloggers have flooded my Facebook Messenger and foolishly tried to blame my righteous self for their unfortunate blocks and bans from the sacred gaming blog.  I kid you not, I have had at least 4 accounts thus far blame me for their unsuspected banishment from Bloglandia. Yet, I haven’t a thing.  How hilarious! 

Really, this is a first class sight, and I can't help but appreciate the absolutely gold comic irony of it all.

Alas, my days of a blogging war the gaming blog with my divine presence seem to have faded, but I remain steadfast in my search for compelling stories from the enigmatic depths of the internet. To the gaming blog and its cohorts, I extend the magnanimous gesture of a "good game" - a touché, if you will - as it seems this blog skirmish has resulted in a pitiful display of mayhem.

So it is with great humility that I, Laura the Lady of Prayer, graciously leave this great blog war. Fear not, for my enigmatic sister, who has been my eyes and ears throughout this cyber escapade, has nobly volunteered to distance herself from the gaming blog compound.

As I bid farewell to this strange experience, rest assured that my literary escapades will continue, as endless stories await to be unfolded in the boundless expanse of the online realm. Until we meet again, dear readers, keep your mind sharp and curious, because the world of cyberspace offers countless adventures to discover.

With an elegant bloom,

Laura the Prayer Lady

Diary Of Becky: The Untold Chapters Of My Double Life

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I bet the game bloggers were feeling rather stumped when they realized they have been exposed.

Prepare to be blown away, because it's only been a year since I made my bold foray into the treacherous realm of game bloggers. Dangerous? Maybe, but isn't it justifiable for someone to tell everyone the truth?

Oh the audacity! Disguised as the enigmatic "Becky Smith," a seemingly harmless young fan trying to bask in the glory of her digital realm, I dived deep into the web of deception. They didn't know they were dealing with a master-me!

Playing my part with great attention to detail, the ruthless leader of this con was eager to connect with "Becky", drawing her into their evil circle. A lesbian leader, you say? What a scandal! But fear not, readers, for I am far from ordinary, and her plans were not in harmony with my quiet intellect.

Alas, my ingenious plan took an unexpected turn when they pulled their terrible prank, reporting "Becky" to The Facebooks and destroying her virtual life. The devil must have heard of my plan and sent the witches! Rest assured, their victory was but a fleeting moment, for my true identity remains unharmed, impenetrable under the protection of divine forces. I’m sure those game bloggers were feeling rather silly when they realized their secret blog wasn’t so locked up like fort knox!

In fact, I may not need to hide Christ or invoke divine intervention, because the watchful eyes of the Lord are on these crazy bloggers. Their actions will not go unnoticed, because divine justice knows no bounds!

So let this story serve as a reminder to those who dare to cheat and spread their digital magic. Be careful, for there are people among us who have understanding and intelligence beyond the ordinary.

As I ask you, dear readers, remember to tread carefully in the realms of cyberspace, as the truth is often hidden by illusions. But fear not, for I will be there watching, forever watching and ready to inform the wicked of my fear, sarcasm and incomparable joy.

The new prayer line is coming up.

Laura The Prayer Lady WHAT? Addressing The Rumors

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Hello readers,

Before we tackle the latest of Laura's scandals in the delusional land perpetrated by these foul bloggers, let me thank you for your prayers. It seems that game bloggers have taken a keen interest in my life, throwing caution to the wind and diving headlong in search of my virtual identity. Oh, the wonders of the digital realm!

In full-turbo attack mode, they took to the comment section with a massive of trolling, and now they have taken to their blog declaring I'm dead. Yes, that’s right. Members of the gaming blog gang have announced to their audience that I have passed away. But fear not, I'm very much alive - at least, I don't think I've met my death yet.

But oh, how adorable these game bloggers are! Secretly, I doubt they've mastered the art of lesbian witchcraft.

You see, they conjure up video games with themes that could rival the most exciting fairy tales. Lust, fishy stockings, and outrageous scandals: indeed, they have an uncanny knack for weaving a beguiling web of wonder for the wandering mind.

"Mafia Donnas" and tantalizing escapades, oh my! One can't help but wonder if these bloggers are having a secret meeting where they come up with the most outrageous scenarios imaginable. But alas, it's all in good fun, right? Right? surely there is nothing creepy and lying that an old woman died?

However, dear readers, let me impart some wisdom: Be careful when you enter the fascinating world of game bloggers. Trusting every word could lead you down a den of disappointment. And as for buying her blog, well, it might be wiser to proceed with caution. But don’t worry- these bloghe

In the end, we find ourselves stuck in an enigma, where reality and fantasy merge, guided by the mischievous pens of these game bloggers. Embrace the magic and beauty of their stories, but always remember to keep one foot firmly in the realm of doubt.

Until we meet again, dear readers, we can fill your gaming adventures with wonder, curiosity and the thrill of suspense. After all, in this digital age, truth and fiction often dance together in a magical waltz.

The Game Blog Says Im PREGNANT- My Response

In this space of digital convergence, I, Laura the Lady of Unshakable Prayer, again manifest my humble presence before you. Dear ladies, the traces of online game bloggers are full of their strange stories. This time, they had the courage to weave up the whimsical story that I carry myself the gift of motherhood. Oh, how ridiculous and extravagant! Allow me, with great mercy, to silence these unfounded speculations and ask you to deal with this very curious rumor. I, Laura Burke-Seals, am

not pregnant nor do I plan to be any time soon.

With unwavering clarity and truthfulness I declare to you, dear family, that I am not in the happy state of pregnancy. But as I walk through the labyrinth of time, my soul deepens knowing that there are those among you who find me adorned with the gaze of youth. While i may not carry a baby inside of me, I am pregnant with knowledge and faith to share with you all. You have great respect for your good deeds, for what greater praise can one receive than praise for bringing life!

Fear not, my friends, for my belly remains constant in the area of ​​prayer and spiritual wisdom. Do not be fooled by disturbing rumors about our fellow seekers of enlightenment and grace that your everyday Prayer Lady is pregnant . No, I will not take revenge, because revenge is not in my nature. Instead, I will use the powerful tool of prayer, imploring divine powers to bless those who spread these lies. The game bloggers think that they are slick and slack, but they are not any of that. 

In this cyberspace where lies and misunderstandings collide with unbridled enthusiasm, let us unite in the face of rumors and hold the beacon of truth. Together, we will navigate this digital tapestry with dignity and understanding, affirming the eternal truth that resides in our intelligent hearts.

With sincere gratitude for your unwavering support and deep understanding, I pray that you will be well until we meet again in this ethereal realm of interdependence.

Yours Fervently,

Laura the Prayer Lady